Okay, I’m not much of a writer but putting my thoughts on paper (like an actual journal) is what I do!… mostly when I have the time. Though lately, I‘ve been afraid to write to Danes, #nameofmyjournal (and I know you are silently judging me on that). Telling Danes what happens in my life, whether good or bad has become kind of my escape habit, but now I don’t know where to start or rather continue writing about the recent events that have been happening.
Like I am scared of writing to Danes! I know it’s a journal and it won’t respond with sage words of advice or sarcastic remarks, but still, I am afraid. And I know why. Well, I think I do. When I start, I won’t stop. I have been going through more lows than ups (and still am), so when I start unburdening my feelings, dark thoughts, and anger, it will at most take me 6 hours to just get through half of it.
I don’t want to be fixated in a 6-hour-mental haze of constant scribbling, depleting and throwing pens over my shoulder while ignoring the small pain that shoots through my wrist (a little dramatic but that’s what really happens). I don’t want to but I have to. I need to. Because I don’t think I can take another blow without settling the chaos in my head and heart (not the biological one..the other one). So I start here…
Today I wrote the famous line that begins all our conversations:
“Dear Danes,”
If you are reading this, You and I both know how it feels to be scared to begin doing something. (even if it is writing down crazy, weird, dark..not morbid but dark thoughts in a journal named Danes)
Starting or continuing from a slump-state is always hard but what matters is you do it. I did it and will continue from there because I know I can. The best part is; that I gained a little confidence to type this 3-minute read. (given I have read countless medium articles, and been inspired every minute I finish one but have never dared to post something until now.) I’ve proved to myself that I can do it.
So when you’re stuck, just remember Lao Tzu and I, sitting in a meditative asana on top of a mountain or doing the Heisman while whispering:
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
START HERE and KEEP MOVING!
(song of the day: Begin again-Measure)
(Inspired to write this by Alice Vuong)
