“I’ve got 99 problems and you won’t be one like what??”
That’s the mantra I get in my head when I’m stressed past capacity. I look at all I have to deal with: pour a full-to-the-brim mug of coffee, pull my hair in a bun and tell myself I’ll handle it…Yes, I can do it.
At first, I take 20–40 mins figuring out a game plan, analyzing what should be done and in which way. I take the next 5–10 mins stretching, cracking my knuckles and preparing to begin. Then I decide to start. Yes, I’m starting now…wait maybe I should go back and list down what the actual issues are. By now you can guess the symptom of my underlying dragon; one of my greater darker demons...PROCRASTINATION. I am the worst..well not that far, but my scale on pushing things I should do till I'm forced to do them is pretty high.
Not that I’m full time lazy; though I at times slack around to clear my head and visualize my life; there are things that bring me less and lesser joy that I tend not to do till I must. For example, I was supposed to resolve an issue that involves certain people not meeting their promises, which was 3 weeks ago…and yet it’s still on the to-do list. When it comes to laundry, I mentally train 3–4 days prior, counting down to when I’ll do it on the weekend so it gets done.
Yeah, I have a problem in the name of Procrastination and I’m looking at it. To be honest, it started during my depression phase; when I didn’t want to do anything and it all felt pointless. I pushed stuff down to the last minute or beyond that, and defended my poor choices by saying it couldn’t be done on time; I had to choose my health first; it’s never that serious or I just didn’t feel like it. ( Those were the days when excuses…no, reasons flowed outta me like the Trevi fountain.)
As I grew up, so did my responsibilities and this weird habit of mine had to be dealt with. I had to prioritize on what I needed to do over what should be done over what I wanted to do. With that, I became good at meeting deadlines, planning my schedule and doing most things before or on time. Except, my free time suffered in a major way. I barely slept and when I did relax, I overdid it: say spend an entire weekend of 3 days watching movies and series in sequence; only taking a 30-minute time-off for getting something to eat, quick shower and bathroom break, then back on the ‘watching” roller coaster. That was a disaster waiting to erupt, which I sensed…and let explode.
Once again, I became a procrastinator…but a wise one.I figured that what I could do at that time; I did. What I could do to save time for doing something I enjoyed more; I did. What I wanted to do; I did. What I did not like doing and could push to the last minute; I didn’t even bother thinking about it, until it hit the “critical alert “ status. And with that, I am a much comfortable procrastinator.
So, what have I decided after running an extensive analysis of approximately 5 years of my behavior?
When you have a problem:
Look at it: means you are acknowledging it.
Look into it: means you are becoming aware of it’s existence, consequences and finding a solution to solve or improve on it.
Look past it: means you are embracing it and realizing that the problem doesn’t have to define you. It is there, yes and it is a problem, but as long as you can manage it well enough; that you only notice when someone calls you on it, and have no murderous feelings towards them for pointing that out; then your problem becomes you in a good way.
If I don’t want to keep following up on unmet assurances …I won’t stress over it until I have made the time and have the will to do so. If it’s laundry, I will do it when I want to; making certain that in the end I get to have clean clothes for another week or two.
Well then, If you have work to do and not doing it will inconvenience someone else…DO IT and do it now. If you need to fake a sick day to attend your best friend’s party (who insists on having it on a working day because the park is less crowded) then by all means go for it, work will catch up. And when you are finished, reward yourself for finally getting it done.
And always remember that, when there’s a problem, “It’s not a stop sign but a guideline-Robert H Shuller.”
(Song of the day:- False Confidence-Noah Kahan)
